Hi - you've got some really good stuff here, content wise, but before you worry about what is 'scary' you have to master the basics of English grammar. Not a dig, but if you're seriously considering writing, you'll need to be able to discern where one paragraph ends and another begins. That first page, man, it's not a run on sentence, per se, but it may as well have been because there is only 1 paragraph on that entire first page.
Suggest you have a look here ------>English Grammar 101
Secondly, and most importantly, you have mastered narrative expertly. You've really got a knack for describing scary stuff, but the thing with creative writing is to SHOW not tell. Now what does that mean? I've done a search for you and the results are here --------> Show, don't tell
If I were you, I'd be checking out the creative writing sites on the web - there are many to choose from. Secondly, I'd pick up an English language/grammar class and/or creative writing MOOC. A lot of them are free (audit the class) but if you have the spare jack, then you can pay some nominal amount for the verifiable cert of completion - that would help to prove you took the class and passed it. May even be able to impress colleges (assuming you're going that route). You can also apply for financial aid. Start with Coursera. It's very intuitive (user-friendly). I'm taking a creative writing class offered on that platform, currently, and getting a lot out of it. I'm also supplementing the class with independent research, as well, since there is no one-on-one with the instructor of a MOOC.
Coursera - Creative Writing Speciality
You're on the right track if you want to be a writer. Focus on English classes in HS. Try to pick up some AP stuff. Do anything you can to write -HS newspaper, yearbook, clubs, etc. If your school doesn't have any of that, it's OK because you can find all of it on the web. Start a blog. Whatever gets you writing. The best way to be a writer is to write. Everyday.
PS: If you're interested, we can feedback each other's stuff. Contact me via the form on my website --->Contact PoB