Everyday Parenting
The ABCs of Child Rearing

share ›
‹ links

Below are the top discussions from Reddit that mention this online Coursera course from Yale University.

Offered by Yale University. Everyday Parenting gives you access to a toolkit of behavior-change techniques that will make your typical day ... Enroll for free.

Reddsera may receive an affiliate commission if you enroll in a paid course after using these buttons to visit Coursera. Thank you for using these buttons to support Reddsera.

Taught by
Alan E. Kazdin, PhD, ABPP
Sterling Professor of Psychology and Child Psychiatry
and 15 more instructors

Offered by
Yale University

Reddit Posts and Comments

1 posts • 120 mentions • top 50 shown below

r/Parenting • comment
27 points • WiggleWormDelux

We had a lot of success with the Yale parenting class. Ours never would do time out, an idea we got is give a choice “sit on the step or (lose a privilege)” sometimes ours rather lose the privilege but it has gotten much more civilized all together.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

I promise it is free for real, and you can go at your own pace. coursera tries to sell you a certificate that you completed it, but you can say no.

r/Parenting • comment
25 points • terrafirma9

I can tell you really want to do well by your kid, but you're having a rough time. Sorry to hear that. I'm going to ignore the threats of physical violence, which I think you understand would only make things worse, and just point out a couple of things:

>...punishments that seem to be showing no signs of improvement in her behavior.

You should stop punishing her. If it's not working, it's not working. Find something other way to modify her behaviour, which is a topic way to big for a comment in reddit. You could start by taking online parenting courses. I've gone through bits of the Yale courses on Coursera and they helped a lot.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

>...she's had to throw away her coloring books, art supplies, etc., because she can't quit coloring on things she's not supposed to...

Think about this a second. She was coloring things she wasn't supposed to color, and your response included throwing away the things she was allowed to color in the first place. Can you see how a child of 7 might get super-confused by that punishment? It doesn't even provide a path forward for better behaviour.

I've found half of parenting is just putting myself in my kid's shoes and saying, "What would make sense to me? What would get me to act differently." If the kid colors on the walls, is it because she likes to color? Then I'd buy more supplies, not less, and just affirm over-and-over that coloring is for those.

If it rather seems intentional, to provoke you, I'd stop rewarding her behaviour with any reaction. Just an emotionless "we don't color on this wall" then ask for help cleaning up.

Instead, she behaved a certain way and got a big, dramatic confrontation with her parents. In her mind, this is better than nothing. Shoot, it demonstrates you care! You might as well have told her coloring on the walls is a great idea.

IDK, I don't think you're too far off, mostly because you recognize that there are issues. I really think some parenting courses with a few strategies could help you over the hump.

r/ScienceBasedParenting • comment
17 points • CanIHaveASong

> https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

Hm. Course starting today. Why not?

r/Mommit • comment
11 points • Rh2205hope

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting watch at least the first two weeks of this from Yale! You don’t have to pay for it, but has a proper evidence base & really clear instructional content to follow & a variety of ideas that will hopefully get you all feeling less stressed. It’s useful even if you have good kids so it’s not just targeting naughty ones!

r/Parenting • post
8 points • tuckerhart17
Free Yale Course on Parenting

I was browsing the internet for parenting resources (outside of reddit of course), and I ran across a free Yale course on parenting through Coursera. I made sure their wasn't a paywall, and it seems to be really free. Professor, Dr. Alan Kazdin teaches the course, here's a blurb from his wikipedia:

"Alan Edward Kazdin is a research professor of Psychology and Child Psychiatry at Yale University. He is a Sterling Professor emeritus and was the director of the Yale Parenting Center and Child Conduct Clinic. Kazdin's research has focused primarily on the treatment of aggressive and antisocial behavior in children. "

And here's the link:

Coursera Link

Hope someone finds this useful!

r/relationship_advice • comment
8 points • Some_Historian_679

Have you met an actual toddler before? They’re still learning how to be people, and it takes a lot of practice even if they’re perfectly “capable” of doing things. Check out the Yale ABCs of child rearing with your partner and see if you two can present a united approach toward parenting.

r/SAHP • comment
8 points • AndieCandy1330

I went on a low dose anti depressant (Wellbutrin) and it has helped immensely with my patience with my toddler and baby. I was the same way- waking up in a bad mood and spending the whole day yelling. I actually wake up happy now.

I also completed the ABCs of Childrearing and it seriously changed my parenting game

r/Advice • comment
15 points • thecatghost

For pregnancy: What to expect when you're expecting is helpful and the week by week guide at babycentre (https://www.babycenter.ca/pregnancy) is fun to follow along to.
For parenting: Coursera's Yale course (free to audit) on parenting (https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting), The Wonder Weeks is an unnecessary but sanity-saving book, The Happiest Baby on the Block is great for teaching swaddling and how to soothe an infant, and I'm sure there are so many others.
The most important practical thing you can do, honestly, is make sure your partner has water. For most of my wife's pregnancy and all throughout breastfeeding, my main duty was to make sure her pitcher of water was full. It's thirsty work being a mom, like you wouldn't believe.

r/Parenting • comment
6 points • poj_poj_1999

I’m so sorry. It sounds really hard. When my son was around 2, I felt the same way you’re feeling right now. My spouse and I would stay up at night crying feeling defeating. I read several posts on Reddit about a free online parenting course https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting. This was a life changer! It removed the power struggles and in like 3 days he was a completely different child and I began parenting in a different way too. I’m not saying anything negative about your parenting style. It wouldn’t hurt to try it out before you go down the road of conduct disorder. I’m surprised your pediatrician suggested this as she’s a little young to go down that path. Best of luck and keep us posted. We are rooting for you!

r/Parenting • comment
5 points • Gardenize

Just a quick reply that I hope might help: attend the ABC parenting course on Coursera! It has totally changed our life with a high need, strong willed energetic 4 year old!! https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

It is still a lot of work all day long but after one week of using the tools only from the first section we have a much happier and more easy going child.

Don't forget to take care of yourselves as well before you are totally run down. Your child needs happy, well rested parents. Any change (for example stopping breastfeeding) might be hard for 2-3 days but kids adapt and forget so quickly.

Good luck with everything.

r/daddit • post
5 points • redli0nswift
Free Yale Online course for Parents of Toddlers through Adolescents
r/Parenting • comment
5 points • gigglesmcbug

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

I've seen this one recommended.

r/AskParents • comment
14 points • qiqing

If you're regularly getting injured by the kids, it's time for professional intervention.

Or at least getting an evaluation by professionals will be able to diagnose potential issues. It sounds like ODD to me, and your mom's parenting style sure sounds like one of the risk factors for it, but I'm just a stranger over the Internet who hasn't met the kids and only knows what you wrote in a post. If your mom cares about their future (and insurance is likely to cover this), early intervention can save their entire life trajectory down the road. And if they don't have issues, it'll be good to have the piece of mind to rule that out, and to get some good advice on how to modify their behavior in the future.

In the latter case (if it's not ODD), the professionals are likely to have a similar point of view / guiding philosophy to the leading child psychologist who teaches this course on Coursera: https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/dad • comment
4 points • Paper_bag_Paladin

We actually took a course on Coursera called the ABCs of parenting. It was pretty good, and had a lot of strategies we still use.

It's free, so worth a look if you want.

Let's see if I can figure out how to link something...

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/daddit • comment
7 points • scolfin

I took this class: https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

My wife was also teacher to a particularly difficult group of 4's (one kid who'd developed people skills but not morality or empathy, one who was chill enough to be down for anything suggested, one who is clearly on the spectrum, and one with horrific anger and violence issues who the first would send the middle two to annoy for entertainment) last year, so I could also ask her about the age group if you want.

r/ScienceBasedParenting • comment
3 points • facinabush

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
2 points • balocas

Ahhhh toddlers!!! I am following this free online course and it is so interesting and not too long and I already see big results. It is like magic. I highly recommend it.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
2 points • Firegrl124

Yes it is. Here is a link https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
2 points • also_HIM

>then as consequences (no dessert that night/being put in time out/spanking/ being grounded

Using food, especially sweets, as a punishment or reward is something that fosters an unhealthy relationship with food and eating.

Spanking is not effective beyond the immediate moment and has serious long term negative side effects (resentment, aggression, lack of self esteem among others) and the consensus among scientists and doctors is that it is never recommended.

>that makeup incident earned her a week long grounding

Longer/harsher punishments are no more effective than short punishments; they simply amplify the negative effects of punishment without any benefit. (Those are resentment, lying and avoidance, breakdown of the relationship, self esteem issues, etc.) That is to say, a punishment that is a week long is no more effective than a punishment that is a day long (or in a 4 year old's case, half an hour long), but it will amplify all the problem behaviors you're now complaining about.

Punishment also does not teach or encourage a kid to do what you want; it's entire focus is on what you don't want.

Punishment is simply not very effective and evidence-based behaviorist models suggest keeping punishment to a minimum and focusing strongly on positive reinforcement of the behaviors you do want. Getting angry and then instituting harsher punishments is just going to put you in a vicious back-and-forth cycle with your daughter while getting you nowhere.

All this to say, do what u/faceinabush suggested and find an empirically-supported parenting program like the one they recommended at Coursera.

r/Parenting • comment
2 points • Mindful_Bum

Check out this free online course:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • body_of_knowledge

There is a free class from a professor at Yale on parenting. I think it was on Coursera? Yes! https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting#instructors

Sorry I'm not good at the formatting on reddit but above is the link. I took this with my husband and really liked the way they switched our thinking from reactionary to proactive praise. I know you are already very busy but even the first couple modules helped us a lot.

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • RapidRadRunner

This free course is great: https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • VStryker

This parenting course from Yale is free, and it’s really highly recommended around here!

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • FableFinale

Spirited kids can be tough no matter what you do, but it sounds like you may just need small adjustments to what you're already doing to get better results. Praise is the number one motivator for changing behavior in a neurotypical child, and it's something I don't see you mention at all in your post.

Try the free Yale parenting course on Coursera, I found it really helpful: https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • cupslott

Look up Yale’s course “the abcs of child rearing”

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

The book “how to talk so little kids listen “ is also a great resource.

Positive reinforcement and making everything into a game seem to be the most effective method with kids.

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • VanArielDZ

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

The above is a free course from Yale University. It’s all online and provides a lot of valuable information regarding child rearing techniques and how to help/create new habits. Even if you don’t get through the entire course I think there is a lot of good info that everyone can apply to their life with toddlers and kids.

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • bluestrain

The below class is short and we have found it extremely effective. You could watch it with your husband. Pretty much any time we put in the effort to follow the advice, we have gotten good results.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

The general idea is target one behavior at a time with a coordinated series of tools.

r/NewParents • comment
1 points • guinnessmonkey

Yale University offers a highly recommended and well-reviewed parenting course, and it’s completely free.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Preschoolers • comment
1 points • GBSEC11

Here's the link. I hope it helps!

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • dalsgaard

Our oldest was like this too. What fixed it was restructuring everything about how we interacted with him. We started with this course: https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/SingleParents • comment
1 points • slidingclouds

I 100% recomend this, it is exactly about the problems you describe and it works!

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting/home/welcome

r/stepparents • comment
1 points • aqua_lung_

How dismissive! The kid will only get bigger and stronger.

You have many options left.

Educate yourself and the bio parents about the Kazdin method for handling DEFIANT children. Alan Kazdin wrote the book The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills.

In addition, read 1-2-3 Magic about disciplining difficult kids age 2-12 years. (See also How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King. It works on adults too.)

There is also Nigel Latta's Politically Incorrect Parenting: Before Your Kids Drive You Crazy, Read This!

Or try Parent Management Training (PMT): https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting and see wikipedia.

There is a book called The Explosive Child.

r/AskReddit • comment
1 points • GizmoTheGingerCat

I recommend this course: https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • Skelshy

Good luck with that. My wife can't say no to our son and doesn't want to 'hurt him'. I have a system of consequences (for example, throw a toy that's not a ball, toys are not for throwing, toy goes on timeout). It's not perfect, but I try to keep it consistent and I usually do what I say.

When I am alone with our son, we have great peace. Consequences rarely have to occur. Sometimes he tests his boundaries. Personally I feel this is 'hurting him' less but YMMV.

When we share responsibilities, it's a real nightmare. My wife announces consequences that never occur, repeats requests endlessly, and does stuff for him he knows bloody to do himself. She tries to placate when he throws tantrums. Then he feels unfairly punished when I say throw the toy again and it goes timeout, he does and it does. Then there are big tears ... daddy took my toy away ... FML

See if he is willing to do the Everyday Parenting course. It may be easier when the advice comes from an expert that's not you.

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • Spac3Ghost

> Yale ABCs of Child Rearing

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • thelumpybunny

If you want some reading material https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting and the book How to Talk So Kids Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

r/ODDSupport • comment
1 points • Eagle4523

We are in the same boat with the same experiences... only advice I can offer is to focus more on rewards/goals (proactive approach) and less on punishments in the moment (reactive and seem to have no impact for us either). As a disclaimer this goes against my instincts as a parent, however it is the advice received from professionals.

Also this course from Yale (free online) is helpful...”everyday“ parenting is the title but is focused on behavior modification tactics

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
3 points • nanocyto

I'm going to second the "don't" crowd. It's really challenging even in ideal situations. Just realize, she can drop you out of this kids life for no cause at all. There are a few threads about that here. But if you do it, I suggest you study up:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/toddlers • comment
1 points • livesfortrails

Not a book but found it very useful:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
2 points • Majestic_Complaint23

There is a free parenting course from yale university called ABCs of parenting. I think it would be a great course for your particular problem. The whole course should be done in few days and the important parts in about 8 hours.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

​

As a short solution, pick up one bad habit (or one) say leaving the dirty dishes on the table, and discuss with her that there would be a punishment if she does it again. For example no screen time for that night or no desserts. Next time when she leaves a dish, remind her to remove it. If she does not, remove it yourself, punish her. No yelling, no fighting, no lecturing. Misbehaviour> chance to correct it> conseuance.

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • inactivelywaiting

You've gotten some great advice. I wanted to suggest this free online class on Coursera created by a professor at Yale
https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

I'll second the Janet Lansbury recommendations too. I relate to her parenting style, and it sounds like what you're aiming for, gentle parenting with natural consequences.

Parenthood is a journey, and some days are better than others, be gracious with yourself

Do you have friends with kids that are similar ages? If I'm encountering a specific problem, hearing what works for others can be helpful, sometimes it works with my kids sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it works one day but not the next. Sometimes it doesn't work for that specific problem but the advice is helpful later for a different problem. Sometimes just venting is enough to help me figure out what to do. I'm not an expert, but have kids of a similar ages if you want to message me.

r/LifeProTips • comment
1 points • blirdy

Yale ABCs of parenting is a free course and provides evidence based strategies that work. We're all a little fucked up from people winging it based on their gut feeling, and having two people argue what's right and setting inconsistent boundaries with kids will just confuse them. Better an imperfect compromise than a perfect war.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • AlluluMallulu

It instantly occurred to me this is a really good place to practice "Simulation" strategies discussed in this course.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

Its a free course and you can just check the simulation part. It is under week 1.

​

The idea is you play a game simulating the behavior that you want. For example, you can be ninjas/ spies/ hunters who have to stealthily walk talk etc. I have an idea for a game that needs three players if you are interested let me know. The child gains skills in the simulation and they can be transferred to real life.

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • suzzalyn

For anyone interested, here’s an article about the course. And here is where to sign up through coursera for free.

r/internetparents • comment
1 points • Vithar

I disagree with many of the people here. You can do this and in a positive and reinforcing manor. It will take effort, and would be better from your Mom than from you, but it should still work just fine. It might not be worth the time if he is moving out soon, as its a slower processes, but one with lasting effects. Put the time in now and it will have a lasting outcome. One very hard component of this is that you must be sincere and never condescending. (it can be tricky to not be condescending as the sister but its important). You need to plan a "Prompt", "desired behavior", and a "Consequence"

You have to identify the behavior you want changed. Specifically. In this case, clean dishes after himself. The prompt is simple, there are dirty dishes around. When he cleans them up and washes them, you have to celebrate it this is the "consequence", not jumping up and down or anything silly, but make an honest and thankful verbal comment that he can hear and understand where you recognizing the behavior you want. (simple stuff, "Thanks for washing those dishes", "thanks for clearing those cups", etc nothing crazy but must be honest and sincere) Touch is often recommended with this, a high five, actual pat on the back, shoulder squeeze, something light and casual, tied to the positive thankful comment. (A tossed candy works as an alternative to the touch depending on your relationship, a Hershey's kiss, dove chocolate, or something similarly small you know he likes. You can get creative, there are plenty of none contact options out there.) It will honestly feel silly doing it at first, but over time if your consistent it will have the positive affect you want.

Ok, there is a problem, he never actually does the behavior you want in the first place. You need to use a tool called Simulation. This can be a bit harder as a sibling, being someones equal, or younger sibling its going to be a trick. However you can probably get your mom to help. Simulation is making a situation to simulate the prompt and behavior you want, so you can do the positive reinforcement. You can team up with your mom to have her make him do something, and you can add the positive reinforcement. Once the ball starts rolling it will cascade and grow.

I'm a big fan of "Everyday Parenting", the tools it teaches work on kids of all ages, and adults. I found the same practices that work on my kids work on my employees. It even works when someone knows about it, and knows your doing it. I had an employee train on it and now does it with her direct reports with positive results, and knows I'm doing it with her, but it doesn't mater. Because at its hart you are being honest and sincere, if your condescending, cynical, nagging, etc it wont work. Also, a side effect is that it has a net increase in general happiness and positivity.

This actually draws from some known aspects of influence/persuasion, the positive reinforcement falls under "Reciprocity", this only works if your consistent, its expected that your also doing the correct positive behavior which falls under "social proof". These tools work from all angles and can get far more complicated, but are worth the time and effort to learn and apply.

r/raisingkids • comment
1 points • vstas

Take a look: https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting/ . It's an amazing free course by a Yale psychologist specializing on solving behavioral issues.

r/daddit • comment
1 points • bontorac

There is a great free course on coursera that is from yale about disciplining kids. I highly recommend it but two things that I put into play immediately which really helped is that you have to "catch them doing good", ie give them more praise for doing something you want them to do than punishment or negative words for doing something you don't want them to do.

In fact, its super difficult to do, but he also recommends just ignoring bad behavior. Like if they are having a meltdown, you literally just walk away. The idea is that kids are hardwired to crave attention, doesn't matter if it is positive or negative, because an infant is a template and they are "designed" to be extra sensitive to feedback from their parents since that is the primary way they find out about the environment they are born into.

The second thing is that when you do give praise make sure you include some minor physical gesture as well. Something as simple as a hug or even a literal pat on the back. We were starting to have some issues with our 4 yo and this nipped that in the bud.

Here's a ink to the course:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/MultipleSclerosis • comment
1 points • MirhellaUnlimited

We continue to learn how to how to communicate better with each other.

You could take a course together. We took this free online class at our own pace. It's by a wonderfully engaging child psychologist at Yale. We found it very insightful and impactful, with our kids and each other. https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

r/Parenting • comment
1 points • Any_Monitor5224

Yelling/spanking/taking all their toys away is going to be useless, and actually backfire. Because someday your toddler will be a teenager with an independent streak. If you have only disciplined them using fear, rest assured there will come a day when fear no longer works and they fight back or do what they want. If you don’t have a foundation of respect with your kid - you’re fucked.

Your toddler is a tiny human with limited communication and liming emotional development. Find a way to engage them and distract them, or let them have a moment and help them identify their feelings so they learn. Don’t reward bad behavior, but don’t act like a toddler yourself end lose control of your emotions.

Your kid isn’t being “bad” or trying to piss you off. They’re growing and learning. Help them.

This free course would be very helpful with these issues:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

You can also read this:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.beingsummershores.com/blog/how-to-practice-gentle-parenting-with-your-toddler%3fformat=amp

r/AskParents • comment
1 points • ParadoxicallyZeno

Since you mention specifically wanting to learn from experts: This is a free online course (registration required) taught by a professor of child psychology at Yale: https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

He also has books if you prefer reading to watching: https://alankazdin.com/books/